It's that time of year again to get your Christmas lists in to Santa. Poker Players, however, are notoriously lazy (and have probably forgotten to get theirs together), so I decided to make up a list of some of the things I think should be under some of your favorite poker players’ trees.

Phil Hellmuth – 2008 World Series of Poker DVD Box Set from ESPN

Maybe if Phil sees what he looks like during one of his awkward spaz fests, he might calm down a bit…obviously there's no chance of that, but if we have to listen to Phil's shenanigans, he should have to suffer through it as well.

Antonio Esfandiari – Any Shirt with Sleeves
I realize poker players like to be comfortable at the table, but Antonio takes it to a whole new level. He is also one of the more animated players in the game and raises his arms above his head more than most, making the cutoff t-shirt an even bigger problem.

Greg Raymer – Macy's Personal Shopper
It's fine that some people aren't into fashion. It's not fine that some people look like they're trying to dress up as an archeologist for Halloween. I know Greg doesn't care about his fashion sense, but he is representing his sponsors, and he does go to D.C. now and then to represent our industry; I would hate to hear a Congressman mistake him the guy from Jurassic Park.

Men Nguyen – Ethics for the New Millenium by Dalai Lama
This will no doubt hurt Men's tournament performance, but it will also greatly decrease the chances of his body being found in the alley behind the Commerce Casino.

Chad Batista – Total Gym
Chad is a great guy, but his personality is a little out of whack with his physical stature. First of all, he is going to have lower back problems later in life wearing all that jewelry on his scrawny frame. He needs to strengthen his

core. Also, he has had a few run-ins with the law, and if he ever happens to end up in jail or prison, it would be advantageous to have a slightly more substantial build.

Tony Cousineau – A NEW Chainsaw T-shirt from ShirtRoad 2.0
Tony had originally bought a Chainsaw shirt from ShirtRoad 1.0, and it has brought him nothing but bad luck. He claims that he has never won a hand with aces while wearing the shirt, and most of the time he took horrific beats. Tony will be pleased to know that the ALL NEW Chainsaw shirts from ShirtRoad.net are bad-beat proof. Tony REALLY needs this shirt. He only ever plays A-A, so if he can't win with that hand, he is going to have to quit poker.

Isaac Haxton – Clippers
The last living hippie needs to finally hang it up. I appreciate that Ike has held out this long, but the hair has to go. There are other ways to prove to the world your love of non-conformity without risking people mistaking you for Lisa Loeb.

Brandon Cantu – Industrial Strength Underwear
No, Brandon doesn't have any kind of leakage problems or anything, it's just that I really like Brandon, and I think he should take all necessary steps to make sure the horseshoe never falls out of his ass.

Bob Stupak – (insert something that either stops making him so creepy, or keeps him from ever coming near me)

CardPlayer Magazine – Some New Writers
So, you guys have brought on some good young people with some great strategy stuff lately (ie. Jeff Hwang and Ed Miller), but guys like Michael Wisenberg, Alan Schoonmaker, Barry Tannenbaum, Bob Caffione, and Roy West haven't had anything strategically relevant to say since pre-Moneymaker let alone since poker strategy has evolved into a complicated dance of advanced mathematics and situational adjustments. Plus, they've been writing so long, they've all published the same article multiple times and called it something different.

And even if their actual content wasn't completely irrelevant, most of these guys have bleaker actuarial tables than John McCain, so you're gonna have to get some new blood in there eventually.

PokerRoad.com – Some More Fans as Great as Our Current Ones
We are very thankful for all the love of everyone that visits the site, everyone that emails us at the radio shows, everyone that posts on the forums, all of you that have sent in songs, fan art, sound clips, all of you. All we want is for the community to keep growing and for all the new fans we pull in to be as passionate, helpful, and just generally awesome as everyone has been this first year.