An Open Letter
November 2, 2021

Dear Sir of Madam:

Please don't grab my balls ever again. Please remove your balls so that nobody ever experiences what I experienced again.



I'm not really sure why every single pub crawl ends up at a gay bar. It seems to be standard though. In Minnesota after 12 hours of pub crawling a couple of years ago we ended up at a gay bar and I kicked a go-go dancer off his box and giving him a 15 minute break while I kept the crowd entertained (I don't remember this obv). Poker Radio

So this time we end up at a gay bar much sooner than 12 hours into a pub crawl, I think it was like our 4th bar or so. I dressed up like this, which apparently was a bad, bad idea for a costume at a gay bar:

This thing with boobs was talking with my date, Ms. Sarah Palin.

Then, I was asked if I had anything on under the trenchcoat. Standard question really, and I give my standard answer by showing some leg (this is where I made a critical mistake imo). She took this to be an invitation and reached right up my skirt, finding balls blocked by boxers. Then she said something like "I've got something you can feel," and before I could realize what was happening, my hand was going up her skirt, and I'm pretty sure that I found balls blocked by women's underwear. This was the suspect:

This all happened within about two seconds, and I was shellshocked for about two hours after that. Ended my pub crawl that's for sure, and we went where everybody knows my name (and there's no ball grabbing tranny's).


Anyways, Fallout 3 is the nuts, Caesar's Classic was silly and they obv had no clue how to run an online poker tournament (scheduling/structure wise... play noon-2:30am day 1, back at noon day 2. wtf?!?). Congrats Hevad, you played well. I ended up busting like 55th after a really silly tourney, I wasn't happy with pretty much everything I did on the felt.

I want to win something today. Here's to Sundays.

Peace and good luck,


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