I was so dead-ass tired when I went up to my room tonight, but lucky for me I couldn't fall asleep for a while. I tossed for a bit, and then eventually flipped on ESPN and guess what greeted me? My WSOP limit final table from '05! Man, talk about a goof! That was some embarrassing stuff on the television tonight!

I played badly. I was a total dork. I had pots taken away from me. I misread my hand with Aces! I also did one other thing a lot though. I smiled. I smiled, and I joked, and I actually had fun playing poker, which I can't say I have been doing much of lately. Back then I was so stoked to just be doing well at all, let alone making final tables, that I just had a good time with it and didn't sweat the results so much. I think it's time to get back to that, man.

I have felt so much pressure since that time, along with all the super close calls that I have had in so many tournaments, that poker has become some sort of bizarre proving ground these days...and I always feel as if I am coming up short over and over again. I've had enough of it. Sure I am running as bad as a human can run here in Vegas this Summer, and sure I am stressed with PokerRoad and the radio show, and everything else going on. You know what though? This is life, and you only get one shot at it, and if you let everything weigh on your ass all the time, you are going to be one sad son of a bitch, and I'm getting a little tired of being one of those sad bastards. Poker TV

I used to do nothing but crack up and laugh on tour. I was the one making all the jokes at the table and having a great 'ol time playing. I'm sick of being a bitch recently, and I'm going to do my best to knock it off, as it isn't helping my game whatsoever and it's also hurting my own fun at the same time, which is probably the more evil of the two deficiencies to be honest with you.

Bear is having an absolutely sick WSOP so far this year and I'd be lying if I said that some of his success didn't make me feel more pressure as we went along. Done with that though! I'm going to ignore all of that and just have fun for the last two weeks, regardless of how I run or how my results add up. Bear goes into tomorrow top 3 in chips in the HORSE event, coupled with his two final tables and one bracelet this year, and he is playing some dominant poker. I'm so proud of him and in awe of his ability to focus and lock everything else out. I can't wait to see him get in there and hopefully take down his second bracelet this year...hopefully in the sick HORSE, no less!

So, that's it. I am so happy that I wasn't able to sleep tonight and I was able to see myself from a few years back, first getting into online poker and having some success. It opened my eyes a little bit, and cleared my head some too. After all, it's Summer, dammit! I'm going to start having some fun!

Hope you are all well and all smiles out there...

peace,
J


Been listening to these bands recently...

Coldplay
Hold Steady
State Radio
Beatles
Rush
Dispatch