Happy Holidays to everyone.  I hope that you are all spending this time with people that you love.  I'm getting ready to head out for a quick run, and slide in between the bouts of rain hitting Southern California on this Christmas day.  My mind has been racing recently, and I'm trying to lock it down, which is something that I am never too great at.  I tend to think in abstracts and absolute emotions, which isn't always the best way to do so, and certainly not the easiest way to write.  I'll give it a try though...

 

Lately I have been thinking a lot about things in my life, and the direction that it has taken.  As we come to the end of '08, it has been a bit of a tough year for me, on almost every level, and I can't help but spend time thinking about how I have reacted to it, which has not always been good or correctly.  I guess it's too much to expect any of us to respond to the disappointments in our life correctly every single time.  It seems that the holidays generally bring out this collective introspection in many of us, and I am certainly no different.  The holidays have never been a favorite time of mine, for various reasons, but this year has been especially introspective, again, for various reasons, and I have spent a lot of time thinking about certain concepts, namely that of acceptance.

 

You know, no matter what kind of person you are, we feel so many of the same things.  Whether you hate your life, hate other people, snarl at every opportunity or spend your days being thankful, happy, loving, giving, and calm, the same things come to us all.  We all experience death, pain, happiness, joy, and disappointment.  We all are broken up with, break up with others, watch our loved ones pass away, see our wildest dreams come to fruition, and watch our lives unfold in ways that we never thought that they would have. Poker TV

 

We all rise up to be much more than we ever thought we could be, and disappoint ourselves in ways so tragic that they require an unbelievable amount of self-pity and tears.  I think the key in so much of this is that of acceptance.  Acceptance in what we really should be focused on dealing with in life.  As I said above, we all have to go through so many different experiences in life (or so many of the same?), so I really don't think that that is what defines us, but rather it is the way that we choose to handle those experiences and move on from them.  Life isn't all fun, as all of you know, but whether you go after it with spit and venom, or calm and humility, that determines what kind of person you are...and what kind of person you will be.

 

 

I really like that saying.  For some reason it inspires me to attempt to handle things in my life with grace and humility.  I don't know why exactly, but it really does.  It is as if to say, "well this thing has come to you, affected you, altered the way you see things and think about them, and now it's time to move on.  Perhaps to move past it, perhaps to build upon it, and perhaps it hurts, or maybe you are ready, but either way...it's time to move on.  It has run it's course."

 

Nothing lasts, it seems.  I remember growing up and so often we are all taught that everything lasts.  You get married, have kids, get that perfect job, settle down, and then it all lasts forever.  Of course, I now know that none of this is true.  Nothing works out perfectly, or at least it doesn't seem to.  That magical switch that flips when you become an "adult", you know the one, the one that allows you to suddenly know exactly what it is you want out of life and how to get it?  Well, I'm still looking for that one, and it seems that all of those older than me, 40's, 50's, and on, are still looking for it as well.

 

That's right, it seems that it just isn't there and those in their 50's are still searching just as much as those in their 20's are.  I think that they are just asking different questions is all.

 

We are all stuck in this grand and great life together.  We are all hopelessly isolated and gloriously interconnected, and that's the beauty of life, I suppose.  I, for one, am going to work harder on being calm and humble in the face of life.  I have spent many years fighting back at life and never just taking what it gives me, but perhaps acceptance is more of a key.  After all, life happens to us all.  It's how we deal with it that defines us as humans.

 

Hope that all of you are having a wonderful holiday season and you are getting to kick back and enjoy those around you this year...

 

Peace,

J

 

PS- I just read this over and realized how how sad this blog may read. It wasn't meant to be that way. I wish that I could express myself a little better in writing, but I always have a hard time with the truly meaningful concepts. I haven't been given that gift it seems. This was meant to be somewhat hopeful, perhaps even a bit of an epiphany. At any rate, just chalk it up to Seebs' random ramblings if it seems more depressing than it should...